Had an appointment with my psychiatrist this morning. He said some things.
"You are clearly in a depressive mode right now."
"Increase your medicine dosage."
"You have to treat your bipolarity as an illness."
"You will never get better, only worse."
"The only thing you can do about it is to take your medicine, and go to therapy. Only both things together will make you better."
"Be happy you live in an age where this can be treated so that you can live a pretty normal life."
"Most of the great thinkers and spiritual people throughout history have suffered from a bipolar disorder of some kind. You should be happy to be like them."
While he talked I wished I could go to a vet and have myself put down like my dogs. And I seriously considered throwing myself in front of a bus on the way home. Needless to say I didn´t as I´m writing this. Instead I went to work. Because all my colleagues were sick I had to mind the shop all by myself. Although that only made me feel like shutting down completely when I found out I actually think it was a good thing because it forced me to think about something besides my crappy self. I even went to my knitting club after work, and had a pretty good time. Hope for a simpler mood tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
What a day...
Posted by Rhiannon at 8:41 PM
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1 comments:
Psychiatrists and therapists sometimes have the ability to make you feel even worse when you leave their office than you did when you came there... But don't have yourself put down. You're in a depressive phase, but it's just a phase, which will be followed by a better phase, which will be followed by a crap phase, which will be followed by a better phase. I hope you'll feel better once you've gotten the dosage of your meds right! At least you did something good for your health by dropping out of the MA program.
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