CSI

I´m gonna miss Grissom sooooo much! Stupid man!

Boring!

Work is pretty boring when there are no customers... Nothing to do. It is snowing wildly, and I guess that is why people are staying indoors instead of coming by us... Booooring!

I are supermodel

I was supermodel today. Superdupermodel. In the sun. In the snow. In the cool clothes. In the fancy make up. In my super cool boots. I are pretty fat lady.

Latte

I rinced glass, and everything thoroughly and made myself a new latte, which luckily tastes just as it should. :)

Since it is saturday and I have the day off I´m gonna knit on my cool purple dress. So long!

Soap and coffee

My coffee tastes like soap. Whyyyyyy???

If I drink it, will I get sick? Well I won´t drink it because it tastes awful! I have to make me anoter...

Fat!

I was right! I am getting fat for real. I visited my grandmother yesterday and tried her scales.... I have gained 4 kilos since last summer! Faaaaaat!

My shrink actually told me last week that I should weigh myself regularly to proove to myself that I´m not gaining weight. Riiiight. I AM gaining weight! Fast!

Shrinky also told me that fat weighs almost nothing compared to muscles and stuff. The problem there is that since I started gaining weight I have trained less than in years, so I must have less muscles now than 8 months ago.... Which means that I must have gained more than 4 kilos of pure fat. Faaaaaaat!

And what am I doing to comfort myself...? Eating candy! Piggy! Oink oink!

Rhiannon is a fat pig

I really am. Something has happened to me, because when I look in the mirror I no longer look slim and slender. I am big. Bigger than ever. Heavy. My face is round, and I have several sets of "handles" on my sides. My ass is enormous. I can barely squeeze into my biggest trousers.
When I walked to work earlier today I could feel all the fat on my body, my ass making huge movements. What has happened to me?

Summer is coming on fast, and I´m gonna look like this on the beach!


I feel like shit! I have to talk to my shrink about this tomorrow. Once again he will tell me that this is just an obsession. It is not real. Just a part of my illness. Yeah well, it really doesn´t matter to me that I actually still fit size Extra Small and that people tell me I´m just a tiny little person. I really do feel fat, heavy, sweaty and disgusting.

You know... the really funny thing is I think round women are lush and gorgeous. I should be happy about feeling and looking big....

This is me

Need I say more?

Pain

Getting a new dog wasn´t how I thought it would be. I thought it would be pure joy, relief and a remedy for the loss of Miss Doberman. But as soon as I decided to buy this dog I was filled with a feeling of guilt and I can´t seem to get rid of it. I miss Miss Doberman so much! She can never be replaced, and I´m not trying to replace her. I just wanna have a dog in my home.

I can´t seem to get close to Echo. My heart won´t open up to her. She is lying next to me right now, sound asleep. I can feel her warm body next to me. She is breathing heavily. Sometimes she snores. Totally relaxed. I should love her. She is a great dog. Smart and kind. Only a baby. She deserves to be loved.

So now I feel twice as guilty and ashamed.... Chandra understands how I feel. She tells me this feeling of guilt and loss will pass. I will come to love Echo and feel close to her. Everything will be all right. Wize cat.

What a day...

I have things to do both outside and inside of my home, but I haven´t done anything useful all day. I slept til noon and have watched Tim Burtons Corpse Bride three times since...



Tim Burton is amazing!

Still, I can´t say I´m proud of myself for being so lazy.
I finally got in the shower an hour ago. Showering was so exhausting I had to rest a bit when I got in my clothes. So here I am, drinking coke and eating chocolate and wondering what to watch next...

Oh my, I´m definitely gonna end up a fat old lady!